I was born in Iran to a Jewish family. We moved to London in 1981 and then to the United States in 1983. So you don’t have to do the math: my age has consistently remained “22 + Botox” for many years now.
I was a biology major and I attended SUNY Stony Brook for my Undergrad and I received my Masters from CUNY Hunter. Since my brain was well “programmed” to study medicine, I continued my academic studies along the same vein and I attended and subsequently graduated from Cornell Medical School’s Surgical PA program, Class of 1998. I ultimately left the medical field to pursue my passion. To date, I credit much of my personal and professional success as a Speaker and Life Coach to my strong background in the sciences, to what I learned from my experience at Cornell and its affiliate hospitals, and to my years of working as Surgical PA. Therefore, I take my fierce hat off and I offer a big nod and thank you to all of you who added so much value and dimension to my unfoldment. As well, I hold an inner smile of gratitude for all my hundreds of patients. Thank you for giving me the privilege of taking care of you, for allowing me to learn from you, and for providing a platform for me to find myself. While I humbly and deeply thank you, I had to leave you, so I could become true to myself, and have me.
While I was a PA student at Cornell, I always knew that upon graduation I wanted to work in the field of Plastic Surgery. I had felt that compared to the other surgical services, plastic surgery was more of a “happy surgery”; since it was elective surgery and there was nothing medically “wrong” with the patient.
When I first started my surgical PA career, I spent a lot of time scrubbing in on plastic surgery cases. This gave me the opportunity to witness and participate in the real time physical transformation of the patient. We had the patient’s “Before” pictures posted on the wall of the OR, and we were creating their “After” picture. This was spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and visually spellbinding in many ways. The opportunity to deliberately participate in helping to create someone else’s’ “After” picture, felt humbling, exciting and profound.
My original, somewhat naïve thought had been along these lines: “This is a great. If a person doesn’t like something about their appearance they can simply change it, and they will be happy.” This was a nice thought in theory, but I soon learned that the patients’ happiness had less to do with the surgical outcome per say, and more to do with how their brain had been wired to fire. Even when our patients would admit that they loved their surgical outcome and it was exactly what they wanted, they weren’t happier. So they “looked better” but they admittedly didn’t feel better. The default settings in their brains did not allow them to feel happy. Their pre-existing neural circuitry had been wired for experiencing: insecurity, worry, fear and anxiety. This meant their brain continued to fire the same dominant default pattern it had fired the day before the surgery, and the days and years before that. While many of our patients had gone to great lengths to address a surface “issue”, once the “distraction” of the surgery had worn off, their signature psychological current pulled them back to their underlying and preexisting mental, emotional and spiritual insecurities and anguish (that had long remained neglected and unhealed). In other words, correcting the surface “issues” didn’t transform the underlying brain map that was perpetuating their pain.
I have come to realize that if a person keeps avoiding, denying, repressing, suppressing or distracting themselves from what is gnawing at them and festering in them, it won’t go just go away. It will snow ball and the person will emotionally shut down, it’s only a matter of time. I know this well, because that’s exactly what happened to me.
While I was grateful for the opportunity to work in medicine, I was not fulfilled. I felt very unsettled and disconnected from my own spirit. I also felt grossly suffocated and encumbered by my $90k academic loan. Changing the outside i.e. embarking on a new career had not changed how I had been feeling on the inside for years. I knew I had to change some of the default settings in my own brain map and psychological blueprint, but I didn’t know how to go about it all. Crestfallen and confused, I felt even more empty, lost, broken and insecure.
I was on a mission to figure out what was “wrong with me”. Despite my academic achievements, I felt plagued with perpetually feeling disconnected, inferior and “not good enough”.
Seeking a more compelling future, I started to REALLY immerse myself in Personal Development Seminars. I bought volumes of books, tapes, cds and everything Personal Development, with the hope that maybe some idea could liberate me from my perpetual internal fragmentation.
Much like a crack addict feverishly seeking crack, I fervently attended seminars, seeking answers to my long-standing feelings of internal chaos and discord. I took seminars in my home state of New York, and I travelled back and forth to multi day Personal Development seminars in New Jersey, Connecticut, Philadelphia, Maryland, Chicago, Colorado, Florida, Texas, Washington, California and even Hawaii, all while looking for my light bulb.
In the year 2000 the game changed when in one moment of being connected to my spirit, I found one super luminous light bulb, and held onto it. I was listening to a Brian Tracy audio program, taking notes and answering his questions. Brian said something like “Turn off the tape and answer this question: If you could do anything in the world and you were guaranteed success and you could not fail, what would you do?” And my hand immediately wrote down that I would give personal development seminars. I was shocked at my own answer. How had my brain miraculously revealed a new drop down menu that now included a “Giving Personal Developing Seminars” option? This short-circuited my self-concept. I felt so confused. Where had this answer come from? Could this lead me to the fulfillment I was seeking? I thought to myself “But I only have academic training in biology and surgery, and I don’t have ‘expertise’ on any other topic.” I remained perplexed for around 10 days, until a 2nd light bulb presented itself.
Shortly thereafter, while attending a seminar in Colorado, I met Bob Proctor (The Secret). He said that he was looking for facilitators for his program The Science of Getting Rich (SGR). While I had an allergic reaction to the title of this program, I decided to give it a shot. In Feb 2001, I gave my own 8-hour a day, full weekend seminar. 17 friends and family and other sacrificial lambs attended and stayed for the whole weekend. It was heartwarming that no one bolted out the room, and that everyone returned promptly after the lunch break! The feedback I got was that they loved it, but that I had talked too much!
I continued teaching my own version of SGR. I taught it as Wealth of the Mind, Body and Spirit, because it resonated more with me and it allowed me to share the mind-body information I had learned in medicine. I continued giving the SGR seminars until 9/11. On September 11th, 2001, I was literally at another seminar in Hawaii. In one instant, the climate of the world changed, and my internal climate changed as well. Similar to millions of other people, I started to rethink my own choices (although I was still to a large degree still disconnected from my own spirit).
Upon returning to NYC, I decided that I would discontinue teaching SGR. I wanted to focus my talks on things that were closer to my heart and more relevant to the time. Therefore, I met with a consultant for one hour. I told him that I still wanted to speak but I did not want to teach SGR again. I asked him what he thought I should do. He said, “Give your own seminars”. I said “But I don’t have any content”. He said, “Create it.” I said, “What? How am I going to create content for a full weekend seminar?” He looked at me as if to say “Figure it out”.
I knew the consultant was giving me great direction, and so I decided to figure it out. I wrote pages and pages of content, and I created my own full weekend program. Since I felt much more connected to my own content, my delivery became much more powerful and impactful.
It was suggested to me to that since a lot of people didn’t have the time for a full weekend seminar, I should create a one-day program. I followed this recommendation, and created a one-day program, and voila, more people showed up. Once again, I was willing to expand the borders of my former brain map so that I could experience more of what life had to offer. Then it was suggested to me to that if I gave an evening seminar, more participants could attend after work. After some initial resistance, I accepted this suggestion and created more fresh content that I could deliver in a 1-2 punch, during an evening session. I created a series of evening mini seminars and called them Power SeminarsTM.
When I walked into my first evening Power SeminarTM I was floored. The room was so packed that I thought I was in the wrong room! I thought to myself “Who are these people and how did they get here?” Apparently the word of mouth marketing strategy (and since I had no other strategy) was working quite well. I also started doing some in office presentations and some gratis seminars. At one such event, a gentleman approached me and asked if I could do what I just did in front of the room, one on one with him, as a coaching call. The only reason I said, “yes, sure, call me” was because I didn’t want to say, “I don’t know how to do a Coaching call” and because I never thought that he would call. When he actually called, I felt way too embarrassed to say, “I have no idea how to do a Coaching call.” So instead, I looked over my wide-open non-existent Coaching schedule and told him when I had availability. We agreed to a time, and to an impromptu fee that I pulled out of thin air. Thankfully, he loved our first session, and signed up for more sessions and he subsequently started referring other coaching clients to me.
Back at the ranch, I was still working in medicine, and straddling both worlds became exhausting. I wanted to leave medicine, but I had so much financial fear that every time I thought about it, my brain went into sudden gridlock, and simply shut down. This of course further reinforced my feelings of insecurity and powerlessness. Apparently, I was still under the grips of the imprint brain maps and “imprint wounds” that I had minimized, dismissed and ignored for so many years. It was never lost on me that I felt very similar to my plastic surgery patients who weren’t able to feel genuinely happier because they hadn’t transformed the real source of their psychological pain.
Eventually, my cup of woe runneth over and I could no longer run or hide or avoid the ever escalating and haunting pain, fear, anxiety, feelings of deep insecurity, powerlessness and helplessness of my “imprint wounds”. Addressing and healing my greatest psychological, spiritual and emotional wounds became mandatory. I decided to commit 100% to my own Self Mastery and transformation.
I took a small time out for a much-needed inner pilgrimage of Self Mastery. Once I was committed to healing, I left no stone unturned and I was eventually able to successfully transform many of my wounds and insecurities to the preliminary phases of FIERCE SELF CONFIDENCETM.
Through conscious and disciplined daily awareness and commitment, I had learned how to deliberately create and condition NEW empowering psychological brain maps that felt like an All Access VIP pass to true fulfillment. Via a massive shift in consciousness, many of my longstanding old habitual emotional patterns of worry, fear and anxiety, lifted. Thoughts, beliefs and feelings that I had felt beholden to and challenged by for years were poof, gone! I literally felt RENEWED & TRANSFORMED. I was much lighter and happier in spirit, and I was standing calmer, taller and more centered than ever.
Psychologically refreshed and revitalized, I was finally filled with the super hero mojo to breakthrough my 12-year holding pattern of working in medicine. This was one of the most liberating and empowering moments of my life. I had finally conquered one of my greatest fears: the fear of failure (that I had attached to since pursuing my hearts’ desires). In one instant, I calmly and congruently sat at my laptop and wrote my “Leave of Absence” email and I pressed, “send.” With a click of a button, I had finally given myself the permission to toss the golden handcuffs away and to liberate myself, allowing me to be myself.
While both surgeons and patients had consistently verbally acknowledged me for demonstrating a fierce work ethic, that work ethic had not been coupled to a deep passion for the work itself. Connecting my fierce work ethic with my fierce passion for Personal Development was a new phenomenon that allowed me to readily plug into an extraordinary spiritual power grid.
Heart, Mind and spirit aligned and in sync, I felt powered up on all cylinders and I was raring to fully commit myself to my Power Seminars TM & Coaching. Filled with gratitude for my new lease on life, I was ALL IN: mind, body and spirit.
Now, in hindsight, I was able to see how priceless and essential the gift of my science background and experience as a surgical PA had been the perfect training ground for me to learn how the mind-body and spirit had to work in concert to unleash true and lasting transformation and fulfillment. I had been doing the karate kid “wax on” and “wax off” for the 12 years I worked it medicine, without even knowing it. I felt humbled and guided. In addition, armed with the 15+ years I had invested in learning empowering distinctions from studying personal development, embracing the life enhancing principles of spirituality, neural plasticity and quantum physics I became laser focused on helping my clients to get out of their own way and to create their own mind, body, spirit transformation and victory.
Grateful and humbled by the transformation of my deep feelings of insecurity and anguish, I was willing to share my insights with anyone who came to my programs or coaching ready and hungry for change. It felt so refreshing and uplifting to now have the opportunity to have a hand in helping my clients sculpt and create their preferred mental and emotional “After” picture. By being willing and open to having a NEW conversation, clients were able to see their pain, frustration, worry, fear and anxiety through a new lens and frame, which helped them to relax and to feel free. My clients would say, “Oh, I never saw it this way.” And the more they learned how to connect to their spirit, to those fierce and whole aspects of themselves, the trapped energy that used to stop and confine them in the past, transformed, evaporated and lifted; and the more the gates of joy, possibility and fulfillment swung open and remained open for them.
I had come to learn that THINKING FROM SPIRIT (our internal well of wisdom) was far more powerful and offered far more frequent flyer rewards points and perks than thinking from the intellect alone. I believe that when people are unhealed and disconnected from their own spirit; they continue to remain confined to a verdict of prolonged and protracted “self imposed” frustration, learned self helplessness, powerless and suffering (as I had been).
My clients were so generous with sharing their transformation with others that THEY brought me referral after referral. Within the first 2 years of leaving medicine, I had done over 1,000 Coaching calls. Having done so many calls in a relatively short period strongly mapped my brain for fierce pattern recognition. My brain had unconsciously become super trained to quickly identify the source and solution to my client’s pain and frustrations. Clients were learning how to enrich their own brain maps and to empower their self worth, self love and self respect and create their own preferred “After” picture. I found this to be so profound, uplifting and highly invigorating…. This is how FIERCE SELF CONFIDENCETM was born.
FIERCE SELF CONFIDENCETM:
The Confidence To HONOR, PURSUE & CREATE
What Your Spirit Craves.
To Your FIERCE SELF CONFIDENCETM