I am Vivace Maxvictor.

I want to  know “What is the greatest mistake you have ever made?”

My greatest mistake has been systematically silencing the voice of my spirit, the voice of my inner KNOWER, the voice of my TRUTH and thereby repeatedly &  ruthlessly tormenting and persecuting myself for decades.

For the majority of my life, I avoided my feelings and my truth. I felt like bringing up the past was “irrelevant” and “inefficient” for my performance based achiever mentality. I wouldn’t process any hurts; I would simply sweep everything under the mountainous rug and move on for the sake of “efficiency”.

While some may claim that I was a successful achiever- based on my academic pursuits (I have a Bachelor’s and Master’s in Biology, and I also graduated from Cornell Medical School as a Surgical PA) the truth is that I spent most of my life feeling EXTREMELY POWERLESS on the inside. I have come to realize that REAL success & drowning in the feelings of powerlessness are mutually exclusive.

The paradox was that while my intention was to be “efficient”, unbeknownst to me, not addressing the multitude of spiritual gunshot wounds of my past was slowly killing me, and it was about to bring my life to a sudden halt.

My wakeup call was when I became suicidal. Being goal oriented & efficient, I selected my own “expiration date”. I had the urgent desire, craving and need “to just go to sleep”.  I had the means planned out in my head, but fortunately GRACE interceded on my behalf (when I felt most incapable) and GRACE saved my life.

At that time, I felt so broken. I felt so checked out. I felt a deep dark void. I felt empty. I was like the walking dead. Meanwhile I kept going to work, repressing my vast emptiness under my professional presentation and attire, and somehow, I kept executing my job a high level. After all, I had programmed myself to be a very efficient ROBOT. No one at work could have ever guessed that I felt absolutely plagued with unrelenting and accelerating mental and emotional anguish and agony. And I didn’t yet know that I was standing bare, in the well of grief.

At the 11th hour, literally a few days before my self-imposed “expiration date”, I got help. It was at this time when I was forced to realize that avoiding my truth and refusing to talk about the collateral damage of growing up with sexual abuse, incredible domestic violence, ritual abuse, and persistent mental and emotional torment… and also not addressing sexual assaults from my adulthood, had ushered me to death’s door.

I have since learned that:

FEELING = HEALING

&

HEALING = POWER

I have since learned to give myself radical permission to feel my truth. I have learned to give myself permission to unabashedly speak my truth. I have learned to become unapologetic about who I am. I have learned how to BE AUTHENTICALLY FIERCE by standing in my truth and by owning my voice & my power.

The arc of my story and how I chose to leave my medical career to pursue this career path of being a Life Coach & Speaker is detailed in the video below.

In September of 2011, I left my 12-year career in medicine (as a Surgical PA) to pursue my passion as a Motivational Speaker and Life Coach.

Ultimately, I decided to combine my strong medical background (the principles of neural plasticity) and the gifts of my own trials and tribulations with my innate passion for self-empowerment, to bring a fresh, dynamic and unique perspective to the Coaching arena.

I have worked with hundred of clients and I have done literally thousands of coaching calls. I am blessed to have both national and international clients. Most of my clients say “You are so different. You get me”. Yes, I get mental and emotional pain, grief, loneliness, powerlessness, insecurity, inadequacy, worry, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, feeling not good enough…and I also get how we can transform our minds (neural plasticity) and our feelings and harness the power of POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH, to live a much more joy filled, meaningful, vital, vibrant, energetic, dynamic and fulfilling life.

Personally speaking, I have had a very difficult time finding the right long-term help. I found that so many providers were “unhealed healers” who would readily parrot books and yet it was profoundly clear to me that they had not yet transformed themselves. Before you hire a Life Coach, ask that person what has been their greatest personal transformation. If they haven’t transformed their pain to power, how do they feel qualified to help you with your transformation?

I have been able to help many others transform because I have paid the price of sitting in anguishing and unrelenting pain and darkness until I learned (thru GRACE) how to transform. I am not coaching my clients from a book on the shelf. I am coaching my clients from the book of life. I am coaching my clients from my transformed grief, and my transformed pain and my transformed feelings of deep inadequacy. I am coaching my clients from a SACRED place of humility and gratitude for having been spared. I am coaching my clients from earned knowingness. I am coaching my clients from LOVE, and from the depths of my being.

* My Central Objective is to Empower Fierce Transformation

* My Intention is to PAY FREEDOM FORWARD ™

* My Mission is to “End Self Imposed Suffering”

I firmly believe that there is no room for SELF PITY & that we can DEFY PRECEDENT™

Over the past 11 years, I have heard many courageous and inspiring stories from my clients. But till recent (January of 2019) I had not publicly shared my story because I feared retribution.

Creating my Bio video (below) has been one of the hardest volitional emotional tasks of my life.

Sharing something this raw and this vulnerable, publicly is EXTREMELY difficult for me.

However, I now feel responsible to share my story, because I whole-heartedly believe that it will save lives. I am also posting this video as a part of my never-ending Self Mastery homework, to continue exercising being bold, fierce & fearless, in real time; especially because posting this video feels so daunting & painful for me.

I thank GRACE for saving my life & I thank you for watching my story.

Please feel free to share this video with anyone who may benefit.

With Fierce Gratitude,
Vivace Maxvictor